Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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