Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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