Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
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