"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
