decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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