Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
