Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
