ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
