Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
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