Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
