dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
