Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize