have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
