I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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