I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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