when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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