I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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