So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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