why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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