Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
