Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
