Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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