hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
