He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
