she looked like the bat from fern gully.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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