remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
