At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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