I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
