So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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