dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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