it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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