i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
