That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
