Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
