Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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