Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
