you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
what is it with giant penises always finding me
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
