Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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