How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
