Sry I called you an 8
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Who died my cat blue again?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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