During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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