I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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