Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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