When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
