I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
No subtext here. People are naked.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
How naked do you want me to be?
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