I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It's never too late to be topless.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
