you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
