It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
