my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
