how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
