butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
