Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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