I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
