I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
