I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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