with your own penis?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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