The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize