weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
