I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
