Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
