do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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