all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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